A weight has lifted

SIT HERE I COME!

I've made up my mind to enter SIT after much deliberation. The mental turmoil that I experienced to come to this decision was not pleasant but memorable. There were many factors to take into consideration and the most significant one was money. If you do not know already, I do not come from an affluent family background and going overseas (without scholarship) would certainly drain our finances. Nonetheless, my parents were supportive but I knew it would come with a cost. I am 21-going-22 this year. It is only rational for me to stop being financial burden to my family. (I have been financially independent since 2 years ago & I am proud of myself!)

In every waking moment for the past months, I had constant battles in my head. To go or not... To go or not... I knew how much I wanted the experience of living independently and travel out of Singapore. As much as I did not want to be a financial burden to my family, that burning desire to break free from the chains of the Singapore was evident. I prayed and prayed for Jesus to show me a clear path, show me the right decision to make. 

This entire "ordeal" my head was in a fluster, the heart was calm.

It is difficult for me to go into details about the process of my decision making. One thing fer sure is that after this entire process, what I had gained transcends decision making skills. As much as I hated the agonizing moments that I have undergone, I enjoyed the fruits of it. The fruits of gaining kingdom friendships and leaning on God. Words can only describe the least of how I felt. Giving up time to spend with the Lord is indeed rewarding. These time sowed in the House of God will NEVER come to naught. 

Undoubtedly my word and flesh may waver in the future. There will be times where my faith in Jesus will dwindle, because I am only human. May Jesus bless me with the wisdom to not relent to flesh and reminisce the glory days where Jesus had manifested in my trying moments. I commit my life into Your hands, make it one of the greatest masterpiece in You have created. May You open up my eyes and heart to see Your handiwork in my life. 

Thank you Jesus!